FAQ

This page has been created to answer sensible & logistical queries & as a way to highlight the care & attention we’d like our guests to both experience & expect. This page should ensure the culture at the Outlet is clear, & how we roll is well defined.

We understand you may realise that a good proportion of the Q&A’s below are silly (or near outrageous!) questions. However, through observation & experience, some ‘things’ have come to light & we’re super comfortable being a touch unorthodox to hasten solid, good, long lasting cultural observances.

This Q&A is woven with both questions that will guide you with basic logistics for your holiday with us & with examples of non-fiction so there’s no confusion as to the atmosphere we can all expect.

So on these silly questions, we’re quite serious 😆. We have expectations & have outlined some repercussions.

It’s actually just an easy guide – you’ll be most welcome now & in the future.

This is a special place & we’re hoping together we hold this place and the people who come here with great care.

Information about Terms & Booking.

In a nutshell

Are you my mother?

No. We’re highly allergic to drama & tantrums.

Can I come to camp with all respect to other people around me, have fun & be happy?

Yes!

Can I be racist or derogatory towards other cultures that are not my own?

No. If you’d like to discuss that further, feel free to contact management so we can have that conversation.

What about misogyny, can I do that?

No.

What if I think I’m a bit special and the Health & Safety measures put in place by management don’t apply to me…can I ignore & disregard those rules set in place?

No. And if you feel you are a bit too special for our Health & Safety measures you’ll be asked to leave.

Can I get a refund if I’ve been a bellend & you’ve asked me to leave?

No.

Are any of the guidelines on this page difficult to abide by.

No.

If I think the logistics, obligations & rules set out here are stoooopid & I don’t want to abide by them, I shouldn’t book with you?

Correct, you are free not to book a holiday with us.

The culture we meld our environment with is super important. Let’s just for a moment consider all the things a camping trip is, to all the many people who ‘go camping’, & let’s always be aware that what we bring contributes to the environment we’re in.

COVID & masks

If you have a sign asking me to wear a mask inside one of the facilities, do I have to?

YES, if we have signs up, but right now we don’t. Read on…

If by chance the pandemic enlivens itself again & where there is a serious threat to public safety ~ the use of masks could become a vital tool to help stop the spread of infection.
It may be that a time comes where we request masks are worn indoors by ADULTS in the kitchen, laundry & toilet areas.

And, just so we’re abundantly clear, we don’t care what you think about masks, in our home we centre the most vulnerable, be it immune compromised or the elderly… & we’d like everyone to help mitigate risks collectively.

With care protecting the most vulnerable amongst us & our staff working to ensure your holiday is a joyful reality.
PS. If someone is wearing a mask, respect that. You don’t know what’s going on in their life. Love & Care. Always.

If you cannot & will not abide by this rule, don’t make a booking with us until COVID & our requirement for these measures has passed.

Vehicles, parking & driving

With my knuckles turning white on the steering wheel, can I drive to the Outlet and in & out of Outlet Road at speed?

No you cannot and this is a persistent driving behaviour noted across the board. This road is used heavily over summer with large rigs & all year round by numerous cyclists, runners, walkers, prams & children… This behaviour endangers lives. Please drive no more than 20km up & down the ‘S’ bend in & out of camp & remain at walking speed when on roads inside camp.

Can I park my car on someone else’s site?

No.

Do I have to park my car in the designated parking area?

Yes.

Can I have more than one car per site?

No. All extra vehicles need to go to the onsite storage area.

Does my boat or trailer count as a car?

No.

Can I park my boat on my site?

No. All boats, trailers, extra cars etc have to go to the onsite storage area. You are responsible for securing your boat & belongings.

Can I drive my boat around camp?

No.

However we appreciate that you may need to drop your camping equipment off when you arrive & pickup when depart.

Aside from these two instances, boats are not permitted inside the camp & need to remain on the main roads & stored in the onsite ‘storage area’.

There are numerous Health & Safety reasons for this decision, free-range children being the top of that list. We ask everyone respect this decision.

Can I hire a site just to park my boat on?

No.

Inside camp, my vehicle has the right of way surely?

No. When in camp all motor vehicles do not have right of way over pedestrians & cyclists. You are to drive slowly & carefully at all times.

Should I expect to be able to park my vehicle next a facilities block if I am fit & able?

No. & we ask that you don’t drive to facility blocks if you are fit & able.

I should not leave my vehicle’s motor running in & around camp because there’s no good reason.

Yes.

If paths are marked for walkers & cyclists only, can I drive my car on them?

No.

I should let my kids ride in the back of the boat on the road up to the storage area.

No.

Cycling

Can I ride at speed through camp?

No.

Should I ensure those in my care are wearing helmets?

Yes.

Can I get a charge at the office for my electric bike?

Yes.

Bookings & the office

Is the customer always right?

No.

Do I have to Pay On Arrival?

Yes, and in many cases you’ll need to pay for your stay before arrival. Please refer to our Terms & Booking. New policies for early payment apply.

Can I just leave my vehicle/tent on a site & extend my stay without enquiring at the office first?

No.

Can I move to a different site without enquiring at the office first?

No.

Can book in to party & get wasted?

No. Even when we hold events outside of holiday bookings, we expect a certain level of consciousness.

Can I as a parent make bookings for my children & not tell you that I won’t be camping with them?

No.

Can I make a booking during peak holiday season pretending to be ‘grown up’ when all I want is a base to party?

No. And if found to be true you may find yourself homeless during busy peak periods.

Can I call you after hours because I forgot to ensure I had enough change for the showers?

No. This is not an emergency.

Can I expect service outside of office hours?

No. Unless it’s an emergency.

Should I expect 5 star service from a provider at the bottom of the accomodation market?

No.

Can I complain about camp fees?

Yes. Just not to us.

Can I abuse the people in the office if they don’t pick up the phone because I want ice & can’t find ice in town, and they’re too busy and I’m having a bad day?

No.

Can I just abuse people in the office anyway?

No.

Can I phone after 8pm if I’m not stuck for accommodation on the day.

Yes. But you’ll be directed to our website to fill in the booking request form.

What about midnight, can I phone you to make a booking then?

No.

If I don’t reply to your many emails or phone texts re my booking, which you’re taking every care to manage, will you cancel my booking?

Yes. Everyone’s time is important, let’s not waste it.

When camp personnel are giving me important information it’s cool if I don’t listen, or ignore what you’ve said & do what I want to do anyway?

No.

Do I have to return equipment, like mallets for my tent pegs, to the office when I say I will.

Yes.

Can I blame you if I walk dirt into my caravan?

No. Try removing your shoes next time.

Kitchen facilities & food preparation

Do I need to boil the water to safely drink it?

No. The camp water is on town supply.

Do I have to write my name & date of refrigeration on my food in the communal fridges?

Yes.

Can I leave my food to leak in the fridge & potentially contaminate other guests food?

No.

Can I leave the mess I made cooking my dinner for someone else to clean?

No.

So should I wipe the areas I’ve used, like the stove top, benches, sink & tables?

Yes. There will always be disinfectant & daily cloths provided in these spaces. We ask you in this COVID era to also bring your own cloths & tea towels.

Is it cool to leave chunks of my dinner in the drain hole of the sink?

No, gross.

Can I cook meat on BBQ’s designated vegetarian.

No.

I need to clean up after myself in the BBQ areas.

Yes.

Can I go screaming to the office that someone stole my sausages when they are in fact in the fridge? OR because someone has moved my food in the fridge to nicely fit theirs?

No. Again, not your mother.

Can I walk mud into the kitchen?

No.

Bathrooms, hygiene & the dump-station

Do I have to pay for my shower?

Yes. The showers take $1 coins & offer you 5 minutes of hot water during peak summer holiday times.

If I do break something in any of the facilities, should I let the office know so it’s not a danger to someone else?

Yes.

What if I poop in the shower or on the floor, can I leave it there?

No.  We’d like you to contact the office so we can assist with your dilemma.

Can I be disrespectful to the people cleaning my toilet & shower?

No.

What about mud, can I walk that through the facilities?

No.

Should I use the soap provided to wash my hands.

Yes.

If their are signs in the facilities asking me to respect certain rules do I really have to follow them?

Yes.

If I leave my hygiene products in the showering facilities, can I accuse the staff of stealing them?

No.

Should I bring items I find that don’t belong to me to the camp office.

Yes.

Can I empty my grey water down the drains or under a tree?

No. What are you thinking?  We have a dump station you are required to use it.

Laundry

Do both the washing machine & dryers take a $1 & $2 coin to start?

Yes.

Can I get a sachet of laundry power from the office if I don’t have any?

Yes. And all proceeds go to to the ‘tree fund’ to support local groups planting trees.

Can I walk mud & wet through the laundry?

No.

Can I leave my clothes in the washing machine or dryer all day & complain when someone takes them out?

No.

Your campsite

Can I hang a clothes line up.

Yes. If you don’t break trees, impinge on other people’s sites, create an unnecessary danger & you take it down when you leave.

Can I move the irrigation to suit my own needs?

No.

Can I remove or take the nozzles on the taps?

No. They’re an important part of our fire fighting capability, one single action may cost a life.

Can I cut branches down to get a better view?

No.

Can I cut branches down for my vehicle because I can’t drive properly?

No.

What if I just have the draw bar on my caravan overlapping onto someone else’s campsite, it’s not touching the ground, that’s cool?

No, it’s not cool.

Can I put some of my camping equipment on the site of someone I don’t know?

No.

What if no-one is using the electricity outlet on the site next to me I can just plug in right?

No.

When I set my campsite up and I think it’s going to be OK to take room from someone’s else’s site, am I going to ask myself if that’s fair?

Yes. If you have any dizzying inclinations of being a tad greedy or entitled, we ask you to pull that back in & pack it away. It’s not fun seeing upset campers in the office because someone, the neighbour they have on their special holiday, is being a bit mean or inconsiderate for any reason.

Children

Are children allowed to ride their bikes everywhere?

You bet.

If Dads have been left to look after the chiddles so the Mums can have some time adventuring with each other, should Dads really keep an eye on their kids as the Mum’s expected they would?

Yes.

Is it OK to send my 5 & 6 year olds off unaccompanied across the main road to the office?

No. Never.

Are children the most precious things in camp?

Yes.

So I shouldn’t yell at kids for just being kids?

That’s correct, don’t yell at children for being children, being children is their job.

What if they shine a light into my campsite to see where they are going at night, can I yell at them then?

No.

Should I expect my teenagers to be young adults?

Yes.

Dogs

Is it true that you welcome happy, well socialised, quiet, tidy pooches & that I can negotiate a discount for their stay if they arrive in costume or with trick?

Yes.

Should I ask to bring my dog while I’m making the booking & not after the fact?

Yes.

What about the cabins & other types of accomodation available, can I let my dog inside?

No.

What about I say I won’t let my dog inside & then do it anyway, is that cool?

No.

What about my dog peeing on someone’s tent... Is that ok?

No.

Is it OK for me to let the dog off the lead early in the morning unsupervised so I don’t have to scoop the poop?

No.

Do I actually have to read & sign the camp’s ‘Pooches guide to etiquette’ to have my dog stay with me?

Yes. You can read that here.

Our natural environment

Can I park my car on or drive over trees?

No.

If I do accidentally drive over a tree, should I tell the office?

Yes.

Do I need to remember that I’m in a natured outdoor space & stick to paths & roads when possible & keep an eye for where I’m walking when not on a path or road?

Yes.

Can I drive my car along the waters edge for fun.

No.

What about donuts & burnouts down at the lakefront, can I do that?

No.

Can I drive over areas that are not road or parking?

No.

Should I take every measure to ensure I don’t leave rubbish along the Lake front & in camp?

Yes.

Can I expect a refund because I don’t like the weather & decide to leave?

No.

Internet & phone service

Do you have internet available?

No – we’re completely retro & your holiday will be too. Holiday as if it were the last internet free decade. Think Rick Astley ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ Salt N Pepa ‘Push It’ Cindi Lauper ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ & Queen’s ‘Under Pressure’ & we’ve the 1980’s all over again…so whip out your towelling shorts, bangles, bucket hats, acid washed high waist jeans, parachute pants your big hair & shoulder pads… Slip on your Casio calculator watch, leave your VHS at home, pack your Walkman with Duran Duran & be ready to Jazzercise your way to relaxation. This is the Culture Club you’ve been looking for. Maybe even throw in a book & a Rubik’s Cube for your Cabbage Patch Kids & don’t forget to snap all those happy memories on your Polaroid 660. Play all day & be home by dark.

Should I consider downloading films for the kids before I come?

Yes.

Is it possible, depending on the weather & my service provider, that I don’t always have reception on my phone at various places in camp.

Yes.

Can I abuse staff because my phone doesn’t have reception all of the time?

No.

Rubbish & recycling

Do you have recycling facilities?

Yes.

Does food go in the recycling bin?

No.

Does dog poop go in the recycling?

No.

Is it OK for me to put my old tent, chair, broken camping gear, books, microwave, pallets, knives, all the big boxes & my plastic from the new camping equipment I’ve just newly bought in the camp rubbish bins?

No. You must take your rubbish with you or not bring it at all.

Do I jam cardboard in the recycling bins so there’s no room for the type of recycling clearly marked on the front of the bins?

No. Fold your cardboard up & slip down beside the bins where it won’t blow away.

If I take the time to read signs on front of the bins & sort my rubbish accordingly, am I respecting our planet to the best of my ability by disposing of my rubbish appropriately?

Yes.

Noise

Aside from New Years, when I have to chill by 1am.. can me & my group be the noisy people between 10pm & 8am

No. It’s quiet time between 10pm & 8am.

What about singing, can I sing really really loudly late at night & into the early hours of the morning?

Nooooooooooooooo. Quiet time.

Can I drown out my neighbours music with my music?

No.

If you come to ask me to turn my music down, or to shut it off completely, does that mean I can turn it up or keep playing it for another hour?

No.

What about obscene language, ever so loudly expressed?

No.

If I don’t listen to your request to keep it quiet, can you ask me to leave?

Yes.

If I have a generator can I use it?

No.

Fire & emergency

Do I really have to read the fire & emergency information you hand out when we arrive?

Yes, but why wait you can read that here & now

Do I really need to know where I am on the map?

Yes.

Should I show my children where the Emergency Assembly Point is?

Yes.

Is it true that you have a complete & total & complete & total, like total fire ban, which means that even my citronella candle that I may argue at you is not a ‘real’ candle is also banned?

Yes.

Should I know where my nearest tap is?

Yes.

What if I’m drunk & think it’s OK to light candles or start up the flamed gas heater I brought with me & then argue with you at 2am about how much of a dick I think you are for being extremely concerned about myself & the 600 odd other people in camp, the potential for loss of life, the destruction of the surrounding forests & potentially the thousands of homes residing next to them? What then?

You will be asked to leave & won’t be welcomed back.

What if I know the rules around fire & decide they don’t apply to me & light up a flamed coal heater in the middle of the Kānuka stand anyway?

You will be asked to leave & won’t be welcomed back.

How about the nozzles & fittings on the taps, can I take them?

No. Aside from not belonging to you, they play an important role in our fire fighting abilities. That one single action could cost a life.

If there’s a domestic dispute in camp should I just ignore it?

No. You need to call the camp phone immediately. If someone is being harmed, call the police.

If I’ve had a serious accident on my bike or something of the like, is it appropriate for me to just curl up inside my tent & not seek help & assistance?

No. Your Health & Safety is of the highest priority. Please seek assistance through the office or emergency services. We have a range of experience & Fist Aid on hand.

What if there’s an emergency outside of office hours & I call the office phone should leave a message if the phone isn’t answered?

Yes, absolutely you should & must. & if it’s a serious emergency, you need to call 111.

Do you have a zero tolerance policy for harm or disturbance of any kind?

Yes.

A few extra notes on etiquette

I know I shouldn’t smoke inside any of the facilities, but what about if I’m half in half out, between the ledge of the door?

No.

Can I urinate wherever I want?

No.

But what if I’m an entitled bellend? Can I urinate wherever I want then?

No. And you’ll  be asked to leave.

Is it true that you don’t tolerate obnoxious drunk people? & that I if I am that obnoxious drunk person that both myself & group can be asked to leave on the spot?

Yes.

If you come to tell me that my behaviour is endangering the lives of others, can I argue with you?

No.

Finally: no running, no jumping, no smiling, no laughing, no dancing… joy of any kind is clearly a breach of any unreasonable code of conduct & will be punished with free ice-cream – and we’ll be the judge of that.